all up in my bizzzness

so i had one of those weird, random train experiences tonight on the way home.
i was standing there on the full, rush hour D train. i'm minding my own business, not making eye contact with anyone. i do notice this guy - a random, uninteresting middle aged guy- organizing packages of oscar meyer lunch meat in his back pack. no biggie though, whetevs.

he then taps my shoulder, and here it goes ...

Lunch Meat Man: "Hi! How are you!"
Me: "Umm, fine." (looking away again)
LMM: "I really like your bag! Who makes it?!"
Me: (why does this goof give a fuck? like he would know designers anyways.) "It's LAMB, by Gwen Stefani."
LMM: "That is lamb?!?! Really?!" (obviously excited about the meat reference.)
Me: "No, Gwen Stefani, the singer ... " (jesus!)
*ps - i am wondering if all of the people around us are listening to this right now!*
LMM: "Oh yeah. She sings that Japanese music."
Me: (whever, please stop.)
LMM: "So, are you a New Yorker?"
Me: (thinking, hello! i'm on this packed train during rush hour, going to brooklyn, not times square!) "yep."
LMM: "A native New Yorker?"
Me: "No, I'm from Chicago." (Damn, why did I give away info!!)
LMM: "So are you single?"
Me: "No."
LMM: "It always happens that way ..."

i'm sure it does for you buddy, i'm sure it does ...

so this is me, carrying my LAMB bag!



ok, it doesn't really look like that! but that could be fun!